Why People Don't Get Me (And Why I Don't Care)

If you spend time with me in person, you'll hear me say "I don't care" a lot. Most people think this means I'm apathetic or have no ambitions. They're completely wrong.

📸 In my hometown

It couldn't be further from the truth.

It's just that I care deeply about things most people take for granted and don't think about anymore. On the flip side, I couldn't care less about what most people spend their time worrying about.

The Feedback That Made Me Think

This isn't something I wasn't aware of until recently. It's something my wife Rosie brought up to me through conversations she had with family members.

I thought it was interesting and funny.

I love when people try to decode me with bits of information, but without asking me directly what I care about or why I say certain things. It's amusing and tells a lot about the society we live in, where we find it easier to judge than have real conversations.

What I Actually Care About

So, why do I seem like the "I don't care about anything" type of guy?

Short answer: Because I really only care about what truly matters to me: the fact that I'm alive and healthy, that my wife and I love each other and have each other's backs, that the people I care about are alive and well, that I always have a roof over my head and access to food, that I have savings in case things go wrong, and that I have the freedom and flexibility to design my life as I want and be present for people when they need it.

The rest? Not important.

How I Used to Be Different

Now let me expand on that a little.

Twenty-year-old Jeremie cared about very different things. I wanted the big house, the fancy sports car, the family, the career, being rich, all the latest stuff. I wanted it all.

If you'd asked me back then why I wanted all that... I would have probably said "because it's cool!"

Truth is, I didn't have any other reasons. Nothing deep, nothing personal.

Growing up, I was conditioned by what I was reading, watching, seeing, and hearing. People with money, Ferraris, big houses, important jobs… they were the successful ones.

They were the ones people looked at. The ones people envied.

No one envied me.

I was always the smallest kid in the classroom. I wasn't cool, special, or talented at anything. No one paid special attention to me.

All those things I wanted were because of insecurities. It was all about getting external validation.

(Full transparency: I didn't know writing this would go this way, to be honest. I'm sort of analyzing and processing things on the fly here.)

Can you relate to any of this? That feeling of chasing things not because you truly wanted them, but because they seemed like what success was supposed to look like?

The Turning Point

I chased that pretty much during all my twenties.

But life had other plans. My world turned upside down on my 30th year. Death knocked at the door. I experienced firsthand how precious, fragile, and miraculous life could be.

From there, I embarked on an exploration of life and myself.

I changed my habits, my routine, my environment, my friends. I invested in myself.

As a result, my thoughts changed, which impacted my actions, my behaviors, but also my beliefs and values.

I completely redefined what was important to me, what truly matters.

Intention and gratitude became pillars of my life.

What I Learned About Happiness

I realized and understood that what I was chasing for years actually had very little value in my heart.

I worked on my insecurities. I worked on defining what happiness and success were for me.

This shift wasn't always easy to stick to. When I finally decided to make a major change, not everyone understood. In 2018, I was considering quitting my job to go traveling because there were some issues at work. When I shared this idea with a close family member, it was met with resistance and rejection. I was told it was stupid to throw away a career, a good situation, a good salary, just to travel. They asked what I was running away from instead of trying to understand why I wanted this change. They made assumptions instead of asking questions. I felt rejected and misunderstood.

It didn't happen then, but it did in 2021. I'm glad I stuck to my gut and didn't hold back, because that decision led to everything I value most about my life today.

What I learned through that experience and others was:

• I'm in charge of my own happiness. It won't come from how people see me, the number of zeros on my bank statement, my job title, or the size of my house.

• Most things are commodities, apart from our time and our relationships.

• As long as I have a healthy body and mind, some core people around me alive and well, and the basic necessities of food and shelter... I have everything that I need.

The rest is a bonus.

What this means is that I tend to not care much about many superficial and materialistic things that a lot of people care about.

I think too many people waste too much time:

• Worrying about things that ultimately don't matter in the grand scheme of things, things they'll have forgotten in a few years.

• Attaching importance to needs that are actually wants. Very few people really need a sports car, a huge mansion, or a designer suit. But their insecurities make them believe they need all this to be happy, to appear successful, or to fit in.

I Still Want More (But It's Different)

Now, here's where it gets interesting and what people get wrong.

It's not because my needs and what's truly important to me are basic that I don't want more. It's just that I don't confuse my needs and my wants.

But would I like to have more of a few things? Yes!

Will they increase my happiness? Possibly.

The reason I want more is to have more options available to me, more comfort here and there. But it's not essential. And let's call a spade a spade: when we all say "I want more" (myself included), we're talking about money... because that's what gets the rest.

But for me, money is just a tool to get more of what matters to me. Money gives me options, choices. Money allows me to be in control of my time, which is the most precious resource we have. Money allows me to be here for the people I care about. Money allows me to experience unique moments and create unforgettable memories.

What's ironic is that now I'm leaving this digital nomad/traveler life, I see a lot of people looking at me differently, with envy sometimes. And now, I couldn't care less about them envying me!

What Kind of Friend I Am

I'm not the friend to call to ask about how you should paint your walls, if this outfit fits you, or if you need a bigger house. Since I attach very little value to this, you probably won't get the answers you want.

However, I'm the friend who will fly across the world if you need me to be present for something important to you or if shit hits the fan.

The Bigger Picture

We grow up influenced by our environment. During our youth, we develop a set of beliefs and values, along with insecurities, which shape our early years in adulthood.

As a result, we don't question our desires, our needs, our wants, or even our choices. We just ride along the path we were put on, making big decisions along the way... and we barely question them.

Then sometimes, some of us experience what we call "a midlife crisis"... during which they finally ask themselves "what's the point of all this?"

Some of us never "wake up": we live lives filled with stress, anxiety, and insecurities, constantly chasing something unachievable, putting our happiness and dreams at the mercy of others. We often end up living lives full of regrets.

My Answer to "What's the Point?"

"What's the point of all this?"

I don't know, to be honest. What I know is that my time on this planet is limited, and I don't want to spend my precious hours on things that have absolutely no importance whatsoever.

I want to be able to look back at my life when I'm old and tell myself "that would be a sick movie or book!"

So here's my question for you: What are you caring about that doesn't actually matter to you? What would you do differently if you stopped worrying about other people's expectations?

Feel free to hit reply and share your thoughts with me, I read every response.

So yeah, I think a lot of people don't get me... and you know what? I couldn't care less 🤣