A kid throws a tantrum because he got a Nintendo Switch 2 instead of a PS5. Another kid is thrilled playing football with a ball made of old socks and scraps.
Someone complains through a Michelin-star meal. Someone else is genuinely happy with a bowl of rice.
What’s the difference? It’s not what they have. It’s what they expected.
We all know people like this. Some seem perpetually dissatisfied no matter how much they have. Others radiate contentment with very little.
And if you’re honest, you’ve probably been both at different times in your life.
The pattern is always the same: the comparison game. We look around, see what others have, and automatically recalibrate what we think we should have. Social media has turned this into an always-on sport.
But here’s what we forget: the person you’re envying? They’re doing the exact same thing. Just about different stuff.
While you’re jealous of their lifestyle, they’re looking at your relationship and feeling empty. Or envying your health. Or wishing they had your family dynamic.
Very few people have it all. To gain something significant, we often have to sacrifice something else.
What I’ve Learned About Contentment
I’ve seen this pattern everywhere, in wealthy countries and developing ones, in cities and villages. Contentment isn’t reserved for those who have the most. Sometimes it’s the opposite.
There are many paths to a satisfied life, and they don’t all look like the Western script of always wanting more.
The people who seem most content have mastered something most of us struggle with: focusing on what’s within their control and being grateful for what they have.
Part of what makes this easier for some? They’re not constantly exposed to what they’re “missing.”
Sometimes ignorance is bliss. If you’ve never experienced certain luxuries, you don’t know what you’re missing. You’re not trapped in the toxic comparison game that social media has amplified to absurd levels.
Humans have understood this for millennia, that our suffering comes more from our desires and expectations than from our actual circumstances. It’s not a new idea. But it’s one most of us forget in our day-to-day lives.
The Real Secret to Contentment
After years of observing this pattern - in myself, in others, across different cultures - I’ve distilled it down to one core truth:
Contentment isn’t about what you have. It’s about your expectations.
Contentment comes from your expectations being met. When they’re not, you feel disappointed, frustrated, angry.
Your expectations are the source of your satisfaction or dissatisfaction with life.
My Own Journey With This
This concept of expectation management isn’t just theoretical for me. It’s shaped how I approach my business, and it’s the lesson I learned through the hardest moments of my personal life.
Starting Over With Zero Expectations
When I started my coaching practice this year after closing the yoga school, I was lost. I had no formal training as a coach or consultant. I went in with the best intentions, did my best to learn and prepare... but honestly, I had zero expectations because it felt like a long shot.
So when the first clients started coming in, I was over the moon 🎉
Terrified too, but mostly grateful. Even though I hoped and believed I could help people, I didn’t expect anyone to actually answer my call.
Do I wish I had more clients and was generating more income? Yes, because I need more money to live. But I keep my expectations measured because I know I’m running a marathon here, not a sprint.
That low-expectation mindset has kept me content through the ups and downs of building something new.
The Hardest Lesson
But the most brutal lesson about expectations came from loss itself.
Between 2016 and 2020, Rosie and I experienced four pregnancy and infant losses.
Why was I devastated by the first one? Because I expected that pregnancy meant having a healthy baby.
By the third and fourth losses, I was less emotionally destroyed - not because I cared less, but because I no longer held that expectation. We were pregnant, but I didn’t automatically expect a baby.
It’s a harsh example, but it illustrates the point clearly: our suffering comes from unmet expectations, not from the circumstances themselves.
So What Do We Do With This?
Understanding this is one thing. Actually applying it is another.
The good news? This is entirely within your control. You can’t control what happens to you, but you can absolutely control your expectations about what should happen.
Instead of trying to control happiness directly, which is impossible, focus on the cause: expectation management.
Think about the last time you got frustrated, angry, or disappointed. It wasn’t the event itself. It was your expectation about how things should have gone.
Now, I know what you might be thinking: “If I lower my expectations, aren’t I just settling? Aren’t I giving up on wanting more from life?”
No. And this is crucial to understand.
You can absolutely be content with what you have and still desire growth, improvement, more. These aren’t contradictory. The difference is in how you hold those desires.
When you attach rigid expectations to outcomes, ”I MUST make $10K this month or I’m a failure”, you set yourself up for suffering. But when you work toward goals without demanding they happen on your timeline, you stay content regardless of the result.
It’s the difference between “I’m building something meaningful” and “I’m not successful unless X happens.”
Which brings me to the most practical tool I’ve found for doing this work...
The Practice That Changed Everything
For me, the most powerful tool has been gratitude.
Since August 1, 2023, I’ve used an app called Daylio every evening before bed. It’s technically a mood tracker (which is fascinating to look back on), but I added a journaling component. Every single day, I write down four things I’m grateful for.
The key? Don’t write the same things every day. Make it intentional.
This practice has transformed how I see my life. I’ve become genuinely grateful for things I completely took for granted: having eyes to see, having air to breathe, having a fridge with food in it, having access to the internet.
But here’s the bigger picture: I’m deeply grateful for my entire situation, whether I was traveling non-stop - even to less-than-ideal places - or now settling in Thailand 🇹🇭
The reason? I never expected to be lucky enough to live this life.
I came from a tiny village in the South of France. I don’t come from a wealthy family. My parents aren’t adventurers who instilled a love of travel or an open mind in me.
Which is why it feels insane that I’ve been able to experience everything I have since turning 30.
I had ZERO expectations this would even be an option for me. So I feel blessed and grateful to be here, for all that’s happened, even if it’s not perfect.
That’s the power of managing expectations through gratitude.
Learning to express gratitude for how your life is going helps you realize your expectations are being met - and more often than not, exceeded in what truly matters.
Here’s the thing: most of our frustration comes from expectations attached to things that are actually meaningless. Very often materialistic things, because that’s what society trains us to want. But gratitude helps you cut through that noise and see what’s real.
Be grateful you had a meal today instead of frustrated the meat was overcooked.
Be grateful you woke up alive this morning instead of envious of your friend’s new car.
Be grateful you have a job to go to instead of annoyed the bus is running late again.
A Final Note
So for 2026, I’m not going to tell you to set resolutions that’ll be forgotten by January 21st.
This is the real work of building a life on your own terms. Not chasing more. Not comparing yourself to others. But learning to be content with what is while still moving toward what could be.
For 2026, here’s my challenge: Start a daily gratitude practice. Four things, every evening. Make them different each day. Do it for 30 days and see what shifts.
And if you find yourself stuck in the expectation trap - frustrated with your business, your relationships, or where you are in life - reach out.
This is exactly the kind of clarity work I do with my clients.
Here’s to a year of contentment ✨
You are a GIFT!!
The part about pregnancy losses and how expectations shifted through repeated grief is incredibly raw and honest. You're right that suffering comes from unmet expectations rather than circumstances themselves, but actually living that truth - especially in something so emotionally brutal - is a whole different level of wisdom. I've found the same pattern with travel goals. When I first started, every canceled flight or closed border felt like a catastrophe because I had rigid expectations about how things should unfold. Now, years in, I expect disruption as part of the process. Plans change, visas get denied, accommodations fall through - and I'm okay because I stopped expecting smooth sailing. Your gratitude practice is something I've tried inconsistently but your framing might be what finally makes it stick.