A Little Lost

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’ve been a little inconsistent lately with sending my weekly newsletter.

I missed a few weeks. I also stopped doing my Life Behind The Posts a couple of months ago.

Even this one, I’m writing it 24h before my usual sending time.

📸 Live shot from me trying to put this newsletter together

I’ve been wondering lately why I’m procrastinating so much with writing at the moment.

I considered a few things:

• Do I still like it? Answer is yes, I do. I haven’t gotten bored of it like I usually do with most things. This month marks the 2nd anniversary of Beyond Ordinary, and I don’t feel it’s time to wrap it up.

• Is it because of the lack of results? Not a straight yes, but I’d be lying if I said no. Some dopamine hits from seeing a new subscriber or people commenting are always motivating factors. It helps. At times, it can feel like I’m writing into a void. To be fully honest and transparent, I had hoped this newsletter would (excuse me for using marketing/business lingo) convert more readers into clients... that hasn’t been the case. That affects my motivation a little, for sure. I knew from the beginning that growing a newsletter wasn’t easy... you need a strategy to drive traffic to it so people can sign up. Thing is, I hate using social media or anything like it. I’m not a user/consumer of those apps and feeds. All I do is read newsletters. I do my best to use Substack Notes... but I’m not consistent with it because it’s something I have to force myself into. It’s not something I enjoy consuming or creating.

Then I realized the true answer explaining my inconsistency.

I don’t feel I have anything valuable to share at the moment.

I do have a long list of newsletter ideas I could write about... but none of them inspire me these days. I wrote down most of those ideas a while ago while I was living a different lifestyle... I was excited about them while experimenting and thriving.

These days, I don’t feel the same.

I don’t feel like I’m thriving. I don’t feel particularly excited either.

I wrote a few months ago about feeling... meh. Not sad, not happy either. Sort of flat.

I’ve been feeling better lately... but there is still no spark, no fire like I had before.

Life is pretty normal these days for me... very regular... uneventful. This season of my life is more fall/winter than spring/summer. I’m more stagnant than I’ve been for a long time.

I’ve been working for my former employer as a freelancer since February/March, and it’s going to carry on until next year. It brought us some financial stability which we appreciate and enjoy... as a consequence, it made me comfortable. When I’m comfortable, I lay back and take it easy.

There is no growth in comfort.

I’m here, going to the gym most mornings, working in the afternoon, and enjoying life in the evenings and on weekends, relaxing or seeing friends.

This environment is not nurturing for growth... I find it hard to share and inspire from this place.

I know I still have all the experiences I’ve lived. It doesn’t feel the same, though. There’s only so much I can say about certain topics, and only so many times I can share the same story to make a point.

I want fresh ideas that I’m excited to share with you... at the moment they’re not coming 😕

What does that mean? I’m not sure. I still enjoy writing, it helps me process stuff, and I always appreciate seeing a comment or a DM saying my two cents have helped. I do want to keep going.

I might not be as regular as “there’s gotta be a newsletter every Wednesday” from now on. It might be whenever an idea or thought bubbles up instead.

That’s not a good recipe, though. Without the constraint and the “pressure” of “I have to send a newsletter every week”... it’s easy to just forget about it for a week, two weeks, three weeks... and before you know it, it’s done. Having the self-imposed constraint to write regularly, blocking time in my calendar to write every week... is one of the reasons I’ve been able to send so many newsletters in two years.

Maybe I just need to admit that I’m a little lost. I don’t know what’s next, but I need to figure it out.

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Here’s where you can help. If there’s a question on your mind, something you’re curious about, or something you’d like my take on, send it my way. I’ll answer it in a future newsletter. It might be exactly the spark I need to get back into a rhythm.