The Regret of Not Living for Myself: A Personal Reflection
"I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."
I recently came across a conversation between Steven Bartlett and Ali Abdaal, discussing Bronnie Ware's book, "The Top Five Regrets of the Dying." While I haven't read it yet, the most common regret expressed by those nearing the end of their lives struck a chord with me: "I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."
This sentiment has resonated deeply with my own experiences and observations.
Too often, I encounter individuals under 50 or 60 who express dissatisfaction with aspects of their lives, often feeling they have little control over their circumstances. Many seem to pin their hopes on a distant retirement, believing it will be the time to finally enjoy life on their terms.
I've noticed a shift in perspective among those above 65, who have spent a few years in retirement. They frequently advise younger individuals to seize life's opportunities, often expressing their own regrets about not doing so earlier. It's almost as if something changes during those initial years of retirement, prompting a realization that they should have lived life on their own terms long before.
Our society often compels us to make choices aimed at pleasing others, fitting in, or maintaining appearances. This sometimes comes at the expense of our own happiness and fulfillment. I consider myself fortunate to have reached this understanding in my 30s, opting to prioritize my own happiness and aspirations, even if it diverges from others' expectations.
I understand that this path isn't always straightforward, especially when faced with disapproval from loved ones. However, I've chosen to remain steadfast in my pursuit of a life that aligns with my own desires. While it might be perceived as selfish, I believe I have every right to prioritize my own well-being and fulfillment. Of course, there are times when I must make decisions that aren't necessarily enjoyable, but I make them after careful consideration.
In life, we often find ourselves doing things for others rather than for ourselves. To navigate this, I recommend asking yourself what decision you would make if you were the only person on the planet. By eliminating the need for external validation or societal expectations, you can make choices that genuinely reflect your own aspirations and values.
A quote that particularly resonates with me is:
"We have two lives, and the second begins when we realize we only have one."
Let's not squander our chance to live authentically and on our own terms.