Stop Worrying About Things That Don't Matter

While you're reading this, someone is probably checking their phone for the 47th time today, worried their post didn't get enough likes. Meanwhile, in a hospice room across town, an 82-year-old is whispering to her daughter: "I wish I'd spent less time caring what people thought and more time being myself."

Funny how that works, isn't it? 🤔

This is the paradox we live in.

📸 Somewhere between Belgrade (Serbia 🇷🇸) and Bar (Montenegro 🇲🇪) during a 12h train ride.

We currently live in a world where stress, anxiety and fear seem to be at an all-time high, despite the fact that we live in the most abundant time of human history.

So much of your focus and energy is used on things that seem to be very important right now, but that are often completely irrelevant and even forgotten a few weeks or months from now (if not quicker than that).

On the opposite side, very few of us spend time focusing on what truly matters: Are you living an intentional life you truly desire? Are you actively pursuing things that will make a lasting difference in your life and that you will remember in your last chapter?

You are conditioned to live this life focusing on the wrong things. As a result, so many are unhappy, lost, stuck.

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I compared what stresses you out daily with what people actually regret on their deathbeds. The results will shock you.

Look for yourself.

What Keeps Us Up at Night:

Money & Status:

• Financial worries/inflation (87% of people stressed)

• Career advancement and status

• Perfect productivity hacks and optimization

Work:

• Work deadlines and workload stress

• Job security concerns

External Factors:

• Social media drama and what others think

• Politics and things outside our control (77% stressed about national politics)

What We Regret on Our Deathbed:

• Not living authentically (most common regret)

• Working too hard and missing relationships

• Not expressing our true feelings

• Losing touch with friends

• Not letting ourselves be happier

I was shocked by the results... Why? The complete absence of overlap between both.

You're spending your "prime years" stressing about things that most humans don't care about when the end comes.

Here's the brutal truth: If you died tomorrow, would you regret not optimizing your morning routine? Or would you regret not calling your best friend more often?

That should be a sign that you need to make a few changes, don't you think? 😅

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The Pointless Stuff

I'm not saying that everything stressing you out right now doesn't matter. Some things are important.

But what's interesting is that from a long-term perspective, they don't appear to be so important anymore. This is a super valuable insight, because you can use this information to reframe things.

First, let's go over the obvious:

• Stressing about your morning or bedtime routine 📱

• Stressing about not having the latest iPhone or car

• Stressing about a social media post

• Stressing about what your neighbors think about you

This is all pointless. If you worry about those, you need to wake up and realize how irrelevant all those things are.

No, it does not matter if your post gets 10 or 10,000 likes. It simply doesn't. No one gives a damn if you have the iPhone 16 or 12, and you will forget after 3 days what's different about them.

The Important Stuff (Done Wrong)

Some aspects are important:

• Work 💼

• Finances 💰

• Relationships ❤️

Look, I get it. You have bills to pay. You need that job. You can't just quit everything and become a monk.

The truth is that you live in a world where you need to make money to live comfortably. Relationships are extremely important for your well-being.

However, you tend to make choices related to those topics that end up generating discontentment and stress. I believe the cause is that you make those choices for the wrong reasons. You pick a job for the status or the salary, you spend money to keep up with the Joneses, etc.

I'm not saying quit your job and live in a van. I'm saying stop letting your job consume your thoughts at 11 PM when you should be present with your family.

Work, finances, and relationships thought about intentionally can NOT be stressful.

And again, if you disagree with me, just look at the data.

If all those things won't matter when you're 80+... why let them consume you now and for many decades?

What Actually Matters

Instead, use this energy to pay attention to what really matters in the long run.

✨ Live your life on your own terms. You will never please everyone. So don't make choices to satisfy your parents, family, friends or strangers. Go after what you desire.

✨ Be unapologetic. Be you. With your qualities and your quirks.

✨ Collect memories instead of possessions. When you close your eyes, you probably don't remember all the phones or cars you bought and how you felt... you remember a dinner, a party, a trip, a hike. Collect more of them.

✨ Spend time with people you care about instead of people you should be seen with. Deepen your relationships instead of widening your network.

✨ Don't sacrifice precious present moments for potential future rewards. By that, I mean don't miss a birthday because of a business trip so you can pay your kid's university tuition in 15 years. Be present now. Let your 15-year-old future self figure it out.

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When you are about to get into an argument, when you can feel your heart starting to race about a decision you need to make, when you are stressing out about something instead of going to sleep... ask yourself a simple question:

Is that going to matter in 5 days, weeks, months, or years?

Make a conscious effort to evaluate things with a long-term perspective. And be mindful not to get seduced by instant gratification or fake "but if I do this now, in 10 years it will be 10 times better" thinking.

Be intentional.

I think starting a daily gratitude journal is also a great practice to really notice what brings us joy on a daily basis and what is truly important. 📝

When I feel stress coming up about something and I can feel it building up, I ask myself:

• Is there anything I can actually do about it?

• In the grand scheme of my life, is that really important and will it matter?

More often than not, the answers are NO... then I let go.

Easier said than done, I know... it takes practice. But like anything else, it can be learned and with consistent practice it becomes second nature.

Life gets much easier and intentional after that.

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You shouldn't wait to be on your deathbed or to have a terminal diagnosis to realize what is important to you. You don't want to get there with the same regrets from the people the data are coming from.

Instead, you can decide to make a change now, while you still have years to live so you can proactively take control of your life and live it to the fullest while you can.

Take some time to define your priorities. What truly matters to you. Be honest. Be brutal if necessary.

Then, start making incremental changes in your life so your thoughts and actions are aligned to those priorities.

Your future self will be very thankful you made those changes early rather than later. 🙏