Quick note before we start: I missed last week’s newsletter. My laptop spent the entire week at the repair shop. Good news is it came back with a brand new screen and battery, so we’re back in business.
Now, onto this week’s story.
On Sunday, I bleached my hair blonde, then dyed it blue.
This has been in the back of my mind for a while (I think I even mentioned it in a newsletter at some point). Back in 2022, I dyed my hair bright red. And before that, in my late teens and early twenties at uni, I went through red highlights, blue highlights, blonde highlights... the whole thing.
Why did I do it? Honestly, my answer is why not? I like it, I wanted to do it. Do I really need more of a reason than that?
Here’s the thing though. I waited a long time for this one.
Since last year, I’ve been fully self-employed, on my own. When I dyed my hair red, I was running a yoga school. The business was the school, not me. I’d show up on some calls here and there, but my appearance never touched the business.
Then I closed the school and started my coaching and web design business. Just me. As a coach, I am the business, in a way. So I started thinking: if I dye my hair, will people take me seriously? Will I lose clients over it?
I never even considered the upside, if I’m honest. I’m only realizing that now, as I write this. Would a different kind of client have been drawn to me because of it? Guess we’ll find out.
Truth is, we live in a pretty judgmental society. Anything or anyone outside the normal mold gets pointed at. Everyone’s got an opinion these days, and they love sharing it whether you asked or not.
So I held off. I needed to make this work, and I didn’t want to take the risk (writing that out now, I realize how silly it actually was... this is exactly the kind of fear I’d normally run through a fear-setting exercise, and I never did).
A few months ago I picked up a freelance gig. It pays well, it’ll last a while. And I thought, now’s the time. Even if the blue hair costs me a coaching client here or there, I can afford it.
So I did it.
Funny thing happened the next morning. Monday, I went to the gym like always. I wear a cap outside, no exceptions, but when I got to the gym I caught myself thinking, should I keep the cap on today? Something I never think about.
I shut that thought down fast, tossed my cap in the locker like I always do, and got on with my workout. Nobody even looked twice.
And it’s funny, because if someone I see regularly at the gym showed up tomorrow with a new haircut or color, I wouldn’t care at all. So why, even for a second, did I think other people might care about mine?
This is such a common trap. We think the world revolves around us, that everyone’s watching, judging, commenting. Truth is, most people are too busy with their own lives to spend any real time thinking about ours. My own five seconds of cap-panic is proof of exactly that.
I’m sure I’ll get a few questions (I already sent my parents a picture, so that’s coming). Why did you do that. Is this a midlife crisis. Why blue. Are you trying to be a teenager again.
Honestly? Who cares. I’ve got a lot of thoughts on this.
Women dye their hair all the time. Dark, blonde, highlights, every color under the sun. Nobody blinks. It’s completely normal. So why is it strange when a man does it?
And by the way, here in Thailand, plenty of people, including men, rock what we could call “funky” hair styles. Dyed hair on guys is way more common here than back in Europe or the US.
Is it the color that bothers people? Are some colors more socially acceptable than others? Does a certain shade make me less capable at my job?
I’m 38 years old and my hair is blue. Since when is there an age limit on that? Why does a kid or a teenager get to have fun with it, but not an adult? Says who?
Why do I need a reason at all? If I bought a new t-shirt, would you ask me why? So why does my hair color need an explanation?
And honestly, if we want to talk about midlife crises... I’d argue the people constantly restraining themselves to fit a mold, never living as who they actually are, are in a far deeper crisis than I am living exactly how I want.
What’s a version of this for you? Something small you’ve held back because you were worried what it would cost you, professionally or otherwise? I’d love to hear it.
J
Tattoos!
I’ve wanted lots of tattoos since I was a teenager watching Miami Ink.
And I put it off for years because I didn’t want to regret it. I didn’t want tattoos whilst wearing a wedding dress.
So after we got married, I got some.
I have 3 now but I’d love more.
I guess part of the reason I haven’t is the expense, part is that it’s permanent and I’m scared I’ll change my mind and the other part is how people will see me.
I love the hair, when I was 49, I got a Mohawk and died my hair red