How The Four Agreements Changed My Perspective on Life
At the end of 2019, I joined a self-development program near Miami called Gratitude Training. During this experience, one of the assignments was to read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.
What happened next? My wife, Rosie, was stunned by how much I had changed in such a short amount of time. This book wasn’t the sole reason for my transformation, but it played a huge role in shifting my mindset and how I approach life.
After The Alchemist in 2018, The Four Agreements became another life-altering read for me. It’s a practical guide to personal freedom, rooted in ancient Toltec wisdom. While it’s a quick read, the real work lies in absorbing its principles and applying them to your daily life.
Because of that, I’ve made it a habit to re-read this book every other year. Each time, I uncover new insights, making it clear why this book is a guide to becoming a better human being—and why everyone should read it.
Let’s break down the four agreements and why they’re so powerful.
🌟 Be Impeccable with Your Word: Speak with integrity, avoid gossip, and use words to uplift rather than harm.
Some people on Twitter/X could really benefit from this one! 😆
For me, this agreement means being honest and authentic while remaining respectful. I’ve worked on speaking with integrity and ensuring my words match my values. Gossip doesn’t appeal to me, but I struggle with how blunt I can be. My directness sometimes unintentionally hurts others, even without bad intentions.
For example, my wife Rosie’s love language is Words of Affirmation. Compliments uplift her, but my honesty can occasionally clash with this. I’ve learned to be mindful of my words and tone, though it’s still a work in progress.
Lesson: Words carry weight. Use them to uplift, not harm.
🌟 Don’t Take Anything Personally: Understand that others’ actions and words are a reflection of their reality, not yours.
This principle was life-changing. Negative comments or criticism often stem from others’ insecurities or issues, not us. Realizing this freed me from caring too much about others’ opinions.
When I started living a less conventional life, my choices were questioned. In the past, I might have let that affect me. Now, I understand their reactions say more about them than me. It’s empowering and allows me to live authentically.
Lesson: Let others’ opinions fly over your head. They don’t define you.
🌟 Don’t Make Assumptions: Seek clarity and ask questions instead of assuming, to avoid misunderstandings and conflicts.
This is a tough one because we make assumptions constantly—about people’s behavior, intentions, and even how they interpret events. But assumptions are often wrong.
For example, instead of asking, “What’s wrong with them?” try reframing it as, “What happened to them?” This small shift builds empathy and understanding. Similarly, I’ve learned to ask for clarification rather than assume someone sees or feels the same way I do. It avoids miscommunication and strengthens relationships.
Lesson: Curiosity over judgment. Always seek clarity.
🌟 Always Do Your Best: Your best changes depending on the circumstances, but consistently doing your best leads to growth and self-acceptance.
We’re all human—we make mistakes, and we can’t get everything right. But doing your best consistently, no matter the situation, creates growth.
For me, this principle applies to everything I do, including writing this newsletter. English isn’t my first language, and I know I’m not a perfect writer. But I do my best to express myself authentically and provide value to you. This mindset has brought peace and minimized regrets.
Lesson: Perfection isn’t necessary—effort is.
These agreements are a lifelong journey. I’ve read The Four Agreements three times, and each time, it reveals new layers. As you grow, your understanding deepens, and so does the impact.
I’m still a work in progress, but applying these agreements has reshaped how I see myself and the world. It’s not about perfection—it’s about progress. With every read, I learn something new about myself. I hope this inspires you to start your journey with The Four Agreements or revisit it if you’ve already read it.
Be mindful, intentional, and consistent in applying these principles to your life. Over time, you’ll notice the change—and so will the people around you. 😉
Have you read The Four Agreements? Which agreement resonated most with you? If you haven’t read it yet, I highly recommend it—it’s a guide to becoming a better version of yourself.
📚 Love exploring thought-provoking books? Check out my other reflections to uncover how timeless stories and powerful ideas can inspire growth and perspective.
I haven’t read it yet, but this will definitely be my next read! These principles are great. I loved how you broke it down to a clear lesson after each agreement. I think my husband will enjoy it too, thanks for this post!
I discovered this book many years ago and I must say it’s massively influenced my approach of life and business. Have you read his book on the mastery of love? Another amazing nugget of wisdom.