At the end of 2019, I joined a self-development program near Miami called Gratitude Training. During this experience, one of the assignments was to read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.
What happened next? My wife, Rosie, was stunned by how much I had changed in such a short amount of time. This book wasnât the sole reason for my transformation, but it played a huge role in shifting my mindset and how I approach life.
After The Alchemist in 2018, The Four Agreements became another life-altering read for me. Itâs a practical guide to personal freedom, rooted in ancient Toltec wisdom. While itâs a quick read, the real work lies in absorbing its principles and applying them to your daily life.
Because of that, Iâve made it a habit to re-read this book every other year. Each time, I uncover new insights, making it clear why this book is a guide to becoming a better human beingâand why everyone should read it.
Letâs break down the four agreements and why theyâre so powerful.
đ Be Impeccable with Your Word: Speak with integrity, avoid gossip, and use words to uplift rather than harm.
Some people on Twitter/X could really benefit from this one! đ
For me, this agreement means being honest and authentic while remaining respectful. Iâve worked on speaking with integrity and ensuring my words match my values. Gossip doesnât appeal to me, but I struggle with how blunt I can be. My directness sometimes unintentionally hurts others, even without bad intentions.
For example, my wife Rosieâs love language is Words of Affirmation. Compliments uplift her, but my honesty can occasionally clash with this. Iâve learned to be mindful of my words and tone, though itâs still a work in progress.
Lesson: Words carry weight. Use them to uplift, not harm.
đ Donât Take Anything Personally: Understand that othersâ actions and words are a reflection of their reality, not yours.
This principle was life-changing. Negative comments or criticism often stem from othersâ insecurities or issues, not us. Realizing this freed me from caring too much about othersâ opinions.
When I started living a less conventional life, my choices were questioned. In the past, I might have let that affect me. Now, I understand their reactions say more about them than me. Itâs empowering and allows me to live authentically.
Lesson: Let othersâ opinions fly over your head. They donât define you.
đ Donât Make Assumptions: Seek clarity and ask questions instead of assuming, to avoid misunderstandings and conflicts.
This is a tough one because we make assumptions constantlyâabout peopleâs behavior, intentions, and even how they interpret events. But assumptions are often wrong.
For example, instead of asking, âWhatâs wrong with them?â try reframing it as, âWhat happened to them?â This small shift builds empathy and understanding. Similarly, Iâve learned to ask for clarification rather than assume someone sees or feels the same way I do. It avoids miscommunication and strengthens relationships.
Lesson: Curiosity over judgment. Always seek clarity.
đ Always Do Your Best: Your best changes depending on the circumstances, but consistently doing your best leads to growth and self-acceptance.
Weâre all humanâwe make mistakes, and we canât get everything right. But doing your best consistently, no matter the situation, creates growth.
For me, this principle applies to everything I do, including writing this newsletter. English isnât my first language, and I know Iâm not a perfect writer. But I do my best to express myself authentically and provide value to you. This mindset has brought peace and minimized regrets.
Lesson: Perfection isnât necessaryâeffort is.
These agreements are a lifelong journey. Iâve read The Four Agreements three times, and each time, it reveals new layers. As you grow, your understanding deepens, and so does the impact.
Iâm still a work in progress, but applying these agreements has reshaped how I see myself and the world. Itâs not about perfectionâitâs about progress. With every read, I learn something new about myself. I hope this inspires you to start your journey with The Four Agreements or revisit it if youâve already read it.
Be mindful, intentional, and consistent in applying these principles to your life. Over time, youâll notice the changeâand so will the people around you. đ
Have you read The Four Agreements? Which agreement resonated most with you? If you havenât read it yet, I highly recommend itâitâs a guide to becoming a better version of yourself.
đ Love exploring thought-provoking books? Check out my other reflections to uncover how timeless stories and powerful ideas can inspire growth and perspective.
I havenât read it yet, but this will definitely be my next read! These principles are great. I loved how you broke it down to a clear lesson after each agreement. I think my husband will enjoy it too, thanks for this post!
I discovered this book many years ago and I must say itâs massively influenced my approach of life and business. Have you read his book on the mastery of love? Another amazing nugget of wisdom.