At the end of 2019, I joined a self-development program near Miami called Gratitude Training. During this experience, one of the assignments was to read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.
What happened next? My wife, Rosie, was stunned by how much I had changed in such a short amount of time. This book wasnāt the sole reason for my transformation, but it played a huge role in shifting my mindset and how I approach life.
After The Alchemist in 2018, The Four Agreements became another life-altering read for me. Itās a practical guide to personal freedom, rooted in ancient Toltec wisdom. While itās a quick read, the real work lies in absorbing its principles and applying them to your daily life.
Because of that, Iāve made it a habit to re-read this book every other year. Each time, I uncover new insights, making it clear why this book is a guide to becoming a better human beingāand why everyone should read it.
Letās break down the four agreements and why theyāre so powerful.
š Be Impeccable with Your Word: Speak with integrity, avoid gossip, and use words to uplift rather than harm.
Some people on Twitter/X could really benefit from this one! š
For me, this agreement means being honest and authentic while remaining respectful. Iāve worked on speaking with integrity and ensuring my words match my values. Gossip doesnāt appeal to me, but I struggle with how blunt I can be. My directness sometimes unintentionally hurts others, even without bad intentions.
For example, my wife Rosieās love language is Words of Affirmation. Compliments uplift her, but my honesty can occasionally clash with this. Iāve learned to be mindful of my words and tone, though itās still a work in progress.
Lesson: Words carry weight. Use them to uplift, not harm.
š Donāt Take Anything Personally: Understand that othersā actions and words are a reflection of their reality, not yours.
This principle was life-changing. Negative comments or criticism often stem from othersā insecurities or issues, not us. Realizing this freed me from caring too much about othersā opinions.
When I started living a less conventional life, my choices were questioned. In the past, I might have let that affect me. Now, I understand their reactions say more about them than me. Itās empowering and allows me to live authentically.
Lesson: Let othersā opinions fly over your head. They donāt define you.
š Donāt Make Assumptions: Seek clarity and ask questions instead of assuming, to avoid misunderstandings and conflicts.
This is a tough one because we make assumptions constantlyāabout peopleās behavior, intentions, and even how they interpret events. But assumptions are often wrong.
For example, instead of asking, āWhatās wrong with them?ā try reframing it as, āWhat happened to them?ā This small shift builds empathy and understanding. Similarly, Iāve learned to ask for clarification rather than assume someone sees or feels the same way I do. It avoids miscommunication and strengthens relationships.
Lesson: Curiosity over judgment. Always seek clarity.
š Always Do Your Best: Your best changes depending on the circumstances, but consistently doing your best leads to growth and self-acceptance.
Weāre all humanāwe make mistakes, and we canāt get everything right. But doing your best consistently, no matter the situation, creates growth.
For me, this principle applies to everything I do, including writing this newsletter. English isnāt my first language, and I know Iām not a perfect writer. But I do my best to express myself authentically and provide value to you. This mindset has brought peace and minimized regrets.
Lesson: Perfection isnāt necessaryāeffort is.
These agreements are a lifelong journey. Iāve read The Four Agreements three times, and each time, it reveals new layers. As you grow, your understanding deepens, and so does the impact.
Iām still a work in progress, but applying these agreements has reshaped how I see myself and the world. Itās not about perfectionāitās about progress. With every read, I learn something new about myself. I hope this inspires you to start your journey with The Four Agreements or revisit it if youāve already read it.
Be mindful, intentional, and consistent in applying these principles to your life. Over time, youāll notice the changeāand so will the people around you. š
Have you read The Four Agreements? Which agreement resonated most with you? If you havenāt read it yet, I highly recommend itāitās a guide to becoming a better version of yourself.
š Love exploring thought-provoking books? Check out my other reflections to uncover how timeless stories and powerful ideas can inspire growth and perspective.
I havenāt read it yet, but this will definitely be my next read! These principles are great. I loved how you broke it down to a clear lesson after each agreement. I think my husband will enjoy it too, thanks for this post!
I discovered this book many years ago and I must say itās massively influenced my approach of life and business. Have you read his book on the mastery of love? Another amazing nugget of wisdom.