I’m about to challenge everything you believe is “good” or “bad” in your life. And it might piss you off a little. But stick with me, this shift in perspective could be exactly what you need right now.
Everything that happens in the world is neutral. Nothing is intrinsically good or bad.
We, individually or as a society, assign labels and values to things… placing them on a scale from amazingly good to horribly bad.
This perceived value, which is a very subjective concept, impacts how we feel about things… and therefore impacts our emotions and views on what’s going on.
The consequences on our mental health and well-being can be tremendous, in a positive or negative way.
Let’s Do a Little Test
I’ll list a series of situations, actions, attributes… and I want you to tell me which option is better or which one is good/bad. I would love if you could share your answers with me by replying or commenting 😃
Blue eyes or Brown eyes
Neurotypical or Neurodivergent
Blowing your nose or Sniffing
Eating with cutleries or Eating with your hands
Being an electrician or Being a software developer
Killing someone or Not killing someone
I have more, but I don’t want you to lose an hour of your time so I’ll stop here. Take 1 minute and let me know your answers.
Done? Ok good.
There is actually only one answer to all of them… and that answer is none of the options are fundamentally better than the others. Nothing I listed is objectively, by nature, good or bad.
Blue eyes or Brown eyes → Purely a personal preference.
Neurotypical or Neurodivergent → Those are human-made labels. We just believe being neurotypical is better because it represents the majority of the population and we built a world fitting this majority. But intrinsically, none is a better option. If natural selection kept diversity there, there’s probably a good reason.
Blowing your nose or Sniffing → Depends where you’re from. In the Western World, sniffing is considered annoying and inconsiderate. In some Asian countries, such as Japan or Korea, blowing your nose in public is considered disgusting! It’s just a matter of perspective and cultural beliefs.
Eating with cutleries or Eating with your hands → Again, depends where. In Malaysia where I’m currently, it’s very common to eat with your hands, even in public or at the restaurant!
Being an electrician or Being a software developer → I’d say it probably depends when. From a financial standpoint, being a software developer in the past 20 years was probably a better job than being an electrician. In the future, with the rise of AI and in a world where fewer and fewer people want to do manual work, I’d argue that the balance might shift sooner than later!
Killing someone or Not killing someone → “Jeremie, are you kidding, of course not killing someone is better!!!” If that was your reaction, I see your point. But remember that not too long ago, we still thought it was fine to kill people who “deserved” it for doing bad things. Death penalty is still legal in some countries. What about self-defense? Or euthanasia/assisted suicide, which is legal in a few countries.
See… It’s not that easy, right?
Where We Go From Here
The point I want to make is that based on where we were born, where we grew up, who we grew up with, our environments, and a bunch of other things… we develop a set of beliefs that shape how we see the world we live in. We unconsciously assign values to everything we see.
But those beliefs and those values are not fundamental truths of the universe. They were mostly made up by people before us. They are social constructs. They are subjective. Personal.
What it means is that everything we believe can be reframed.
And I found this idea very empowering.
Instead of taking things for what they are, and feeling powerless because we have no influence over things… we can reclaim some power, open our mind, develop a new set of beliefs which will change how we perceive the world and the people around us.
What That Looks Like in Real Life
The shift can start with little things. How we perceive and assess situations and events “happening to us”.
It can start with a simple change of language: “happening FOR us” instead of “happening TO us”.
My Personal Experience
Rosie and I experienced 4 pregnancy & infant losses. I can look at them from 2 angles:
Why did it happen TO us? I honestly have no answer to this question. It’s sad. It feels cruel. We did our best and shit kept happening. It was devastating. We could have worn black for the rest of our lives, never moving on, and going in circles wondering why it happened.
Why did it happen FOR us? I also don’t have a proper answer to this question if I’m being honest. It’s still sad and it still feels cruel. But when I look at it from this perspective, my brain goes “now what?”. Instead of crying forever about it (nothing wrong with crying, it’s part of the grieving process), it came in time in the healing process where I asked myself “how can I use this horrible thing for the best?”. The losses showed me that life is a miracle. That we shouldn’t take it for granted. They were the turning point to us living this unconventional lifestyle… from there I decided to live my life to the fullest and to focus on being happy and enjoying life NOW.
Reframing in Business
This concept of reframing can be applied to many aspects of life… in our personal or professional lives.
I was talking to a client last week who was upset that a competitor was successfully implementing all the ideas she had in the past! “How frustrating. If only it could have been me!”. What I said is that I get it. The feelings are valid. But now you have a choice. You can be upset all day long, be resentful towards yourself for not implementing those ideas sooner and let envy or jealousy consume you… or you can decide to see it as a good thing. I pointed out that it was a sort of market validation. If they’re doing it successfully, that means there’s a need. Study what they’re doing, find the strengths and weaknesses, and implement your own version of it. Do it better! Use it as fuel to motivate you!
Reframing Your Identity
Another of my clients was getting frustrated with herself and her ADHD. “I can’t focus on anything, I always have new ideas or interests popping up… I can’t help it. I wish I could be normal and like those people who find their thing at 20 years old and pursue it for the rest of their lives… it would be so much easier”. This is something Rosie has expressed to me many times as well. I don’t think I’m neurodivergent, but I get it… I see how annoying it can feel to always want to pursue something new. It makes creating a sustainable business much harder. But ultimately, it’s their choice to see this part of them as a burden or a superpower. It’s their choice which lens to use. In the past, people had the same career for most of their lives. Nowadays, it’s becoming more and more uncommon. In a constantly evolving world, with new trends, fast technological changes… being able to easily jump from one topic to the next can be extremely helpful and useful!
Your Turn
So here’s my question for you: What’s one belief you’re holding onto that might be keeping you stuck?
Maybe it’s “I’m not good at X” or “I can’t change because of Y” or “Success looks like Z”. What if that belief isn’t actually true? What if it’s just a story you’ve been telling yourself?
The power of reframing isn’t about denying reality or toxic positivity. It’s about recognizing that the meaning we assign to things is a choice. And when we change the meaning, we change how we feel and what becomes possible.
You don’t have to change everything overnight. Start small. Pick one situation that’s frustrating you right now and ask yourself: “How else could I look at this?”
The answer might surprise you.
Hit reply and tell me what belief you’re ready to reframe. I’d love to hear from you.