I’m going to tell you four stories from my life.
Four moments where things didn’t go the way I wanted them to. Where I felt frustrated, annoyed, angry, or just... sad.
And in every single one of them, looking back, I see things differently now.
Sydney, 2010
I arrived in Australia for a 6-month internship, fresh out of France, with broken English and one week of hostel accommodation booked. The plan was simple: find a flat during that first week.
I found a place I liked. Good location, good price. The landlord said there were more visits scheduled, but I could take my time. I messaged him that evening - excited, relieved - ready to say yes.
Too late. Someone else had said yes 5 minutes before me.
I was furious at myself. How could I not have decided faster?
A few days later, I found another spot. Better location, actually. And about 10 days after moving in, a cute blonde English girl walked through the door to move into the girls’ room.
That girl was Rosie. I married her 5 years later.
If I’d been 5 minutes faster that first time, we would have probably never met.
Aix-en-Provence, 2014
My current work contract was ending. My agency sent me to interview at a startup in Marseille, but the traffic getting there was a nightmare. We showed up an hour late. The interview went okay, but a few days later, I heard they went with someone else.
Fine. The daily commute would have been hell anyway.
Then, a week later, my agency called back. The person they hired didn’t work out. They wanted me.
I remember complaining to Rosie: the commute, the traffic, the uncertainty of a brand new startup... I was so unenthusiastic about it.
I started anyway. Sleepy and grumpy on my first day.
I ended up spending 6+ years there. It became the best professional experience of my life. The co-founders offered me the chance to move to Miami, which completely changed the trajectory of everything. I’m still friends with them to this day.
France, 2017
This one is harder to write about.
Rosie and I had to make the most painful decision of our lives: we terminated our pregnancy at 6 months. The worst day of my life. I’ve written about it before, I won’t go into all the details again here.
What I know now, looking back:
If that pregnancy had gone as planned... we would not have moved to Miami. We would not have traveled the world for 4 years. We would have settled where we were, on autopilot, and life today would probably look almost exactly like it did in 2017… just with a child (or more by now).
I would not have become the person I am today.
2021 and 2022
After leaving Miami, Rosie and I were finally ready to start traveling full-time. We had a plan.
Then family situations came up. Twice. Things completely outside our control. We made the choice to be there, to delay our travels, to put our plans on hold - twice. It also cost us a significant amount of money.
Was I frustrated? Absolutely.
It’s during those months of being “stuck” that the opportunity to build my online yoga school appeared. And because I wasn’t on the road bouncing between cities, I could give it my full attention. I launched it properly.
The school is now closed, but it was a pivotal moment in my entrepreneurial journey. It gave me confidence, experience, and proof that I could build something from scratch. Without those delays, I’m not sure I would have done it at all.
What All of This Has in Common
In every one of these moments, my first reaction was negative. Frustration. Sadness. Anger. Resentment.
Because I had expectations. And reality refused to match them.
Stoicism has a clear answer for this. Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus, Seneca - they all said it differently, but the message is the same: you do not control what happens to you. You only control how you respond.
Other people’s actions, external events, things that have already happened - none of that is within your control right now. Fighting against it doesn’t change it. It just makes you suffer more.
And yet, what my life has shown me goes a step further than acceptance.
I’m not saying everything happens for a reason in some neat, cosmic way. I don’t know that. What I know is that even that one tragic moment led somewhere I couldn’t have imagined at the time.
Maybe you call it the universe. Maybe God. Maybe coincidence. I don’t have the answer, and honestly, I don’t think it matters.
What matters is the posture. Letting go of what isn’t yours to control, and staying open to what comes next.
I just know that every time I’ve let go, really let go, something better showed up. And that’s enough for me.
Has there been a moment in your life where something going “wrong” actually led somewhere better? I’d love to hear it, hit reply and tell me.
Absolutely love this and have many similar moments too. These days when something feels like a roadblock or annoying/frustrating I am much more inclined to sit back and know that it'll probably work out for the best, I just have to wait to see what that "best" is. (Not always ... I'm no zen-master ... but a lot more than when I was younger!)